Manglish Rules!!

Firstly, I think some of you might have heard of this joke before, some haven't. This joke tells the difference between how Malaysians and Mat Salleh people speak. I know that the Mat Sallehs won't completely speak like what the joke tells, and neither do the Malaysians. And whats funny for me is that I can speak in both ways. Manglish with my school friends and proper English with my "mat salleh" family. =D

Enjoy

1. When you want to let someone know not-so-good news.
Mat Salleh : I'm sorry sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.

2. To reply something.

Mat Salleh : Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Halo, who page?

3. To ask someone to make way.

Mat Salleh : Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: Skewze me

4. When telling someone there's no need to pay.

Mat Salleh : Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No-need, lah.

5. When asking for permission.

Mat Salleh : Excuse me, but do you think it is possible for me to enter though this door?

Malaysians: (points at door) Can enter ah?

6. When welcoming guests

Mat Salleh : Make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!!

7. When disagreeing.

Mat Salleh : I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want lah....

8. When asking someone to lower down their voice.

Mat Salleh : Excuse me, but could you lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate here.

Malaysians: Shut uplah!!

9. Asking someone if they reconize you.

Mat Salleh : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. do I know you?

Malaysians: See what?

10. When in a critical contition.

Mat Salleh : We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysians: Die lah!!

11. When asking what happened.

Mat Salleh : Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happen? Why like that??

12. When someone makes a mistake....

Mat Salleh : This isn't the way to do it here. Let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also dunno how to do ah?

13. When someone is disturbing.

Mat Salleh : Would you mind not disturbing me??

Malaysians: Celaka you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!